Clitless Archive

Intelligent-Seat1705 - My Best Friend's Wedding

Found on /r/FemcircFantasies.

My Best Friend's Wedding

In a world where history went all so slightly different from our own...

It was a perfectly ordinary spring day. The birds were chirping, the first bugs were out, the weather was nice, and my friend Tiffany had gone nuts.

"You're nuts," I told her. Never let it be said that I'm not honest with my friends.

"Maybe, but I'm still going to marry him," Tiffany said in between taking sips from her lemonade.

I looked at her, my mouth a little bit agape. We'd been friends throughout highschool and college. We'd both grown up in liberal American families. We had liberal American values.

"You want to marry... a European."

"He's called Karl, Jessica," Tiffany said, rolling her eyes. "You have met him before."

"Yes, but -" I rubbed my forehead. A fly that'd decided to turn it into a vantage spot lifted off. "You did catch the whole cultural divergence thing of the 70s, right?"

"You sound like my mom."

"Doesn't answer my question."

Tiffany sighed. "I had a better grade in modern history than you did, remember?"

"That just makes it weirder!"

The 1960s had been a wild time. Flower power. Hippies. Make love not war. In America, the establishment had eventually arranged itself with the protest generation, and by the 2000s, the rebels of old were sitting in congress and making laws. America was called the land of freedom for a reason. Immense progress had been made in civil and women's rights alike. Individual liberty was held paramount by both parties.

In Europe, at the height of the cold war, things had gone a bit differently, however. The establishment had been paranoid about communist infiltration. But cracking down on the entire protest generation hadn't been an option. So it'd cut a deal. It'd accepted what it perceived as the more amenable half, which were men letting off some steam, while cracking down on what it perceived to be the more radical, uncompromising and most importantly smaller group, which happened to be women wanting to advance actual women's rights.

Since the cold war had been going on and the European reaction had been perceived as anticommunist, nobody in America had cared that much, and relations on both sides of the Atlantic had remained amiable. But particularly for women, it was still a huge culture shock to go from Dallas or Des Moines to Paris or Berlin.

"... is he going to move here, or are you going to move to-"

"I'll move in with him," Tiffany confirmed with a smile.

"You're nuts," I repeated myself.

"I know," Tiffany said, still smiling and playing with the plastic straw in her lemonade. "Mom told me as much."

"And your dad?"

"Also called me nuts, but he also said I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"Optimistic take," I muttered, shooing away the fly from earlier. I really had no idea what made my forehead to attractive for it.

Tiffany rolled her eyes. Again. "Look. I'm not going to be kept as a slave. I've already been interviewed by Karl's employer. They like hiring American chemistry BAs. I'll have all the opportunities I want."

"Even female BAs?" I said, looking and sounding exactly as skeptical as I was.

"Female employment in Europe isn't that much lower than in America," Tiffany said with a huff. "And female education is even. You're just expected to obey your husband and have a couple children. Which I do want."

"And going over your husband's knee if you don't obey him," I said. "Is that one of those opportunities?"

"Opportunity cost," Tiffany said, grimacing slightly. "Look, there's this thing called 'Love'. I've made the decision to accept the rules." She paused for a second. "And it's not an uninformed decision."

I raised my eyebrows. "So you don't enjoy being beaten by him. But you'll still marry him."

"It's called a spanking, not a beating," Tiffany said, looking annoyed. "Like... spankings being unpleasant is rather the point, isn't it?"

I frowned. "I guess. But it's still uncivilized. And speaking of unpleasant..."

At this point, Tiffany actually visibly winced. "Yeah..."

"Aha!" I exclaimed triumphantly. A few bystanders were giving us weird looks, and I continued in a slightly less triumphant tone. "So not entirely convinced yet, are you?"

"No, I am," Tiffany protested. "Just..." She sighed. "It is a high price, but it's a price I'm willing to pay."

"You're talking about your clitoris, Tiffany," I said. "About your ability to orgasm. Evolution gave that ability to us for a reason. To both, men and women."

"I know," Tiffany said. She paused for a moment. "Look, Jessica... I know this is difficult to understand. I don't fully understand it myself yet! And like, I'm not going to say it's a good thing. Heck, you'll probably see me advocating for abolishing female circumcision once I'm living over there-"

"Unless your husband disagrees," I interrupted her.

"We've actually talked about it," Tiffany said, playing with her plastic straw. "I mean, we've had sex before, you know? He didn't exactly hate it."

Of all the things I didn't need to know... "Could you just... keep your love life to yourself and skip to the relevant part? That isn't sex?"

"What I'm saying is, Karl is hardly a dyed in the wool circumcision hardliner. Else he wouldn't have dated me during his stay in America, yet alone wanted to marry me," Tiffany said with some conviction.

"But he still wants you circumcised," I pointed out. Maybe my tone was getting slightly desperate.

"I mean, I'd rather stand out if I wasn't circumcised after moving to Europe," Tiffany said.

I took a long breath. I could've continued. I could've continued for a long time. But there seemed to be little point to it. "Alright. I guess your dad is right. You're old enough to make your own decisions."

"Thank you," Tiffany said, smiling.

"But he's also right when he says you're nuts."

Tiffany flicked her plastic straw at me.

"But... I guess I can still help you with the wedding preparation."

Tiffany beamed.

The Plan

"Okay, so Tiffany is nuts," Sarah said, echoing what basically all of us, all of Tiffany's friends who'd gathered at Jesse's Bar & Club were thinking. "But if she's going to sacrifice her orgasms for her married life, then we should at least make sure her bachelorette party is one hell of a farewell to them."

I blinked. "How?"

"A couple guys and a good fuck," Sarah said matter-of-factly. A few of the other girls in our round looked taken aback, but the majority giggled like the schoolgirls they hadn't been for some years.

"A couple guys," I said, looking dumbfounded at Sarah. "Who aren't the groom. Just weeks before her wedding."

America was liberal, not crazy. At least that's what I'd thought up until now.

"Yes," Sarah said, joined by a few other girls, the lights coming from the dancefloor reflecting off their faces. Janice and Shandiin actually high-fived each other.

For a moment, I didn't look at any of them. I couldn't, having buried by face in my hands and silently asking whatever deities were around what I'd done to deserve this. "And I thought only Tiffany was nuts..."

"What? If her groom is determined to take away her orgasms, then Tiffany has the right to some amazing ones before they're gone." Practically all the girls were nodding along with Sarah by this point. A few were cheering, others giggling. Too many cocktails.

"I can't see Karl agreeing with that..." I said, desperate to derail the conversation from where it was going.

Sarah gestured to a passing waitress and then her drink. Then she shrugged. "Not our problem."

"Might be Tiffany's, though..." I suggested.

"She'll thank us afterwards," Sarah said, not a hint of doubt in her voice.

"I-"

"Look, we can just ask Tiffany, can't we?" Bridget, a mousy girl further back, said.

"It's supposed to be a surprise, Bridget," Sarah said, rolling her eyes. "And if Tiffany really doesn't want it, she can let us know then and there."

"I don't-"

"Let's just put it up for a vote!" Sarah said, beaming. "All in favor, show your hands!"

Basically all the girls except myself raised their hands.

"Sometimes I really wonder if I'm the only adult in the room..."

"Relax," Sarah said, still beaming. "It'll be a great success!"

A new song started playing, and everyone cheered. A few guys from a few tables over gave us curious looks. And I was seriously considering calling it quits right then and there.

The Deal

Sarah was convinced that there was no need for Tiffany's groom, Karl, to know of her, or officially our plan. Only when I asked her how she'd feel if her future husband banged a couple prostitutes on his bachelor party did she eventually relent. Even then, she made it clear that in her decided opinion, Karl didn't deserve this consideration. But in the interest of Tiffany's future happiness in marriage, she was reluctantly willing to make a compromise.

Which is why Sarah, Janice, Shandiin and I were now in Karl's living room, an oversized periodic table on one wall, a photograph of a bearded Russian in black and white near the window, and furniture everywhere else, some of it laden with vials and flasks whose content I decided I rather didn't want to know about. A labcoat had been carelessly thrown over the back of the couch, which had some scorch marks and a few funny colored spots on it.

If there'd ever been an apartment screaming 'Nerd', it was this one.

Karl had completed his Master's before moving to America for a year, building industry connections with important people I'd never know as well as a more personal connection with Tiffany, who I did know. All while working with our chemistry department on whatever. I honestly had no idea, I was majoring in English literature.

"You're certainly... creative," Karl eventually said, after Sarah had laid out our plan to him.

"Erm. Yes. I guess." For a moment, Karl didn't say anything else. A long moment, in fact.

"So it's a deal?" Sarah asked, beaming. Well. That was probably the wrong word. Her tone was right on the line between asking and demanding.

"Under one condition," Karl said.

"Which is?" Janice asked.

"If Tiffany gets to enjoy some men at her bachelorette party, my bachelor party gets to enjoy some girls."

"But... aren't all bachelor parties like that?" I asked. Sarah nodded as well. "Yeah!"

"I hadn't planned on it," Karl said. "But I was thinking of you four specifically."

There was a lot of shouting after Karl said that. But he remained steadfast.

So did Sarah. "I'm a slut, not a whore," she said with some conviction. Which was... I wasn't going to dwell over it.

"Then I won't agree," Karl said.

Sarah rolled her eyes. I silently said my prayers. Finally things were going the way they were supposed to again.

"But I'm up for negotiations," Karl said.

"Like what?" Shandiin asked. "Just three of us?"

"No, all four of you," Karl said. "But it doesn't have to be... absolute. We could make it a game of chance." He looked thoughtful for a moment, tapping the desk with the pencil he'd been holding this whole time. "I think that'd actually be more interesting for everyone involved."

"Like strip poker?" Sarah asked, actually looking curious for once. She'd always been a bit of a gambler. A bad one, but a gambler.

"Rock paper scissors," Karl said. Sarah rolled her eyes again. All of us did, actually.

"Like, we bet our bodies?" This time it was Shandiin asking.

"Yes. If I make a sacrifice, and Tiffany is going to make a sacrifice as well, then I think expecting the four of you to make a sacrifice as well isn't unreasonable."

Sarah looked like she was ready to blow up again. Shandiin looked... actually fairly relaxed. Janice and I exchanged looks, then shrugged.

"Basically, each of you can bet oral, anal, vaginal-"

"Nerd can't just say normal," Sarah whispered.

"-and your clitoris until los-"

And then the shouting match started again.

The Party

I still wasn't sure how it'd happened, but in the end, we'd actually agreed. Karl would've offered us a drink, too, but as it turned out, the only alcohol he had in his home was in the form of hazardous solutions located in his fridge. Who ever heard of a German teetotaler? Well, we'd apparently found the first one.

As it was, the deal wasn't a bad one. Each one of us could bet her pussy, ass, mouth, or her clitoris. We could bet each as often as we wanted to, until losing it. And if we *won* our match of rock, paper scissors, we'd be a thousand dollars richer. That was the buy in required for Karl's guests to play. That... probably made us whores, despite Sarah's exclamation to the contrary on that day, but I had once again decided not to dwell too much on these things. Not like any of us were virgins, anyway.

Karl had been fair enough to give us his list of guests, too. Sixteen, himself included. Four matches for each of us, fifty percent chance of winning. Even Sarah was happy that our clits were, in fact, safe.

And thus we were all here at Karl's bachelor party, naked as the day we were born, serving drinks, getting the occasionally smack on our butts, and waiting for the bell to ring.

"Guess he's not actually a teetotaler," Sarah whispered, a tray with a couple drinks in her hand, and pointing in Karl's direction. The groom to be had an absurdly sized keg of beer in his hand.

"Today's an exception, I bet," I whispered back, politely putting away a guest's hand that had slowly been crawling up my left breast. "Later," I said firmly. Sarah looked a bit irritated for a moment before seeing what I was dealing with, and nod-

And then the bell rang.

The Game

Less than an hour later, I felt vaguely dirty. My mouth and pussy had both found use, but I was also $2000 richer. Sarah was the same, although she'd sacrificed her ass rather than her pussy. Shandiin hadn't had the best night, she'd only won $1000 while her pussy had been used twice and her mouth once--when she'd had to bet her ass, she'd lost, but as it turned out, the guy who won wasn't any more interested in fucking her ass than she was in getting fucked in the ass, and they'd mutually agreed to use her pussy instead.

Janice was our performer of the night, $3000 and only having to get one guy off with her mouth.

Mission accomplished, as they sa-

"Miss," one of the men addressed me, a buy in ticket in hand. I blinked.

"We're done," I said.

"Half of us won," he said. "We're still in the game until losing our tickets."

"I-" I said.

"Would be a bit weird for you to bet your pussy time and time again until losing it, and us not being able to bet our money, wouldn't it?" he asked. Calmly.

I panicking a little bit. I exchanged a quick glance with Sarah, but the usually so combative Sarah just glanced back at me, looking just as panicked. I guessed that's what happens when you're naked, got your ass fucked and are surrounded by over a dozen men.

"I... guess..." I eventually said. "But can you even...?"

He shrugged. "Honestly, no. But I'm a charitable man. If I win your ass, one of the guys who already lost their ticket gets to have a go at you."

"That's not what we agreed to," I said, feebly.

"Nowhere does it say the prizes aren't transferable," he said. Then he gave my butt a smack. "Now get going, Miss. I understand you still have your ass and your clit to bet?"

I nodded, and could only imagine how pale I was looking. "My ass," I eventually said. I was barely audible.

He nodded, and we both raised our hands. One, two, three...

... and I was $1000 richer.

Life, which had been a bleak, black and white nightmare just seconds before, returned to being a brightly colored dream again.

Until the next game, I was sure.

The party kept going. Sarah was the first one of us to lose, and forced to spread her legs for one of the losers of the first round. She was the only one of us who'd sacrificed her ass first--I suspected it wasn't one of her safe days.

Janice kept winning, but Shandiin... couldn't, losing her next match as well. Her complexion kept her from looking as pale as Sarah or me, and she seemed to take it... better than I'd have expected, but we all knew what this meant for her.

My next match didn't go as well as the one before, and I found myself bent over a desk for a fuck that I most certainly didn't enjoy. My attempt to bargain for a normal fuck instead of my ass was rejected.

Sarah's luck didn't improve in the next round, and knowing fully well what she'd just lost, she went off to the side, watching me and Janice trying to get through this game. Shandiin didn't watch, being on her knees with her mouth busy--I overheard Karl saying something about a girl without anything to wager defaulting on the match.

By now, we all understood that the game had been rigged from the start, just not in the way we'd expected it to be.

Janice lost her next match, but seemed to strangely enjoy the ride one of the men was giving her, her ebony skin glistening as she very loudly, and somewhat annoyingly for the rest of us, came. Though her still having her ass to bet probably helped.

For my next game, my clit was on the line. It was the only thing I'd left. I was trembling. The guy playing against me looked as calm as any guy could. Three, two, one...

My clit remained mine. $4000 in my pocket. Figuratively speaking, since I was too naked for pockets.

I felt sorry for Shandiin and Sarah... well, mostly Shandiin, but I had to get through this. Somehow.

Janice won as well, holding up a hand with all five fingers and inviting the next guy to play a round with her. But I'd come first.

One, two, three...

I closed my eyes and let myself be led off the by now rather filthy floor. This was it. Opening my eyes, I glanced at Sarah, who looked even more like a mess than she'd earlier. Another one of those defaults, I guessed.

It was all her fault, and I wanted to blame her, but... we could all have backed out. None of us did.

Unlike Shandiin and Sarah, nobody came to challenge me to a default game and fuck me. Both of the guys who still had tickets stood by Janice, who was smiling.

One, two, three. Rock, paper, scissors.

Janice grimaced as she was unceremoniously told to get on her hands and knees. I opted not to watch, but as interesting as the clock on top of the door was, I still had to listen as she got her ass pounded and spanked in some kind of depraved rythm.

One last match to go. Sarah, Shandiin and I were holding hands, praying for Janice to win this one. Although they couldn't resist groping us a bit, none of the men surrounding us did more than that. Whether they were simply spent or actually obeying the rules, who knew.

"Please..." I heard Sarah whisper.

"YES!" Janice screamed. The men surrounding us grumbled. The three of us all jumped up, yelling excitedly and racing for Janice. One of us. At least one of us had made it.

Us three, however...

Tomorrow would not be a pleasant day at all.

The Letter

"HAPPY HONEYMOON!" we all shouted. Sarah with a bouquet in her hands. Turns out, maybe the whole catching the bouquet to get married next thing has something to it, since Sarah's own wedding preparations were already under way. She hadn't actually known the guy before Karl's bachelor's party, but the results thereof had made the matter of her wedding somewhat urgent. She was already studying German, too.

The cake had been huge. The reception great. The wedding romantic. Tiffany's parents still looked a bit strained when talking to Karl, but they'd clearly accepted Tiffany's choice, even if they disagreed with it. Of what'd happened a month ago, they had no idea. Some of the guests from Karl's side had given Sarah, Janice, Shandiin and myself some knowing winks, but that'd been it. A good, fun, American wedding.

Shandiin had taken it pretty well. She'd eventually mentioned that she'd planned to work on her masters in Paris, and in her own words "No way I can stay in Paris for years and not get circumcised". If anything, she probably thought getting circumcised now was simply preparing for her move.

Sarah hadn't had much of a choice. Certainly not after her pregnancy test came back positive. Well, she could've had an abortion, but stubborn as she was, she instead went through Karl to figure out who the father was. It... honestly didn't make too much sense for me, but she'd clearly made up her mind. Whether she'd succeed in getting a feminist movement going in Europe or just get her butt spanked by her husband to be was anyone's guess.

And myself... it'd certainly been an interesting month since. Probably in the Chinese sense of the phrase. But I was getting used to it. Slowly. No orgasms for a month... that'd turn into years. Decades. I'd read up on orgasms solely through stimulating the breasts. Supposedly it was possible for some women. Whether I was one of them... probably not, judging by my experiments thus far. But I'd keep trying.

Janice had been the lucky one. Karl had kept his word, and so Janice was $6000 richer, a not inconsiderable sum for a starving humanities BA, and still had her clit. At least she'd stopped messaging us every time she had an orgasm. As if she hadn't been just as terrified as we'd been.

And then, of course, there was Tiffany. Tiffany, who'd written each of us a letter before her wedding:

Thank you for your consideration. I greatly appreciate you and all the effort you're going through to give me a proper sendoff. Even the sacrifice you're willing to make.

But I've made a promise, and I'm going to keep it. I've arranged my circumcision ahead of our bachelorette party to demonstrate my commitment to Karl. Don't get me wrong! I really do appreciate your gift. But my choice to sacrifice my orgasms for Karl is absolute, and your gift only further strengthens my resolve.

I wish you all the best at Karl's bachelor party, and hope you all make it through.

But if you don't, please believe me when I tell you that your sacrifice wasn't in vain, even if I didn't get the orgasms you wanted me to have so much.

I genuinely believe that my own sacrifice is for the best. And I genuinely believe that it'll be for you, too. Especially Sarah, no offense.

If nothing else, the bets you're making mean that you'll still have some last orgasms before the procedure. Remember and cherish them, just like I did mine with Karl.

Maybe, in some years, you'll come to appreciate the sacrifice you've made not as a sacrifice, but as genuinely the right decision to make in your lives.

Yours

Tiffany